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Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies

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I love the Darkness which engulfs me... [Jan. 2nd, 2005|10:44 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
dragoondefender
[mood |Death-wishing...]
[music |N/A]

I don't know why I'm doing this... I must be really out of it... Damn it...

I thought coming back to Omaha was going to make me feel better. It has not. I realized this once I was at Grandma Bohr's. I just felt unhappy. And it turns out, that is how I have felt being here. I thought it would be nice to see my frinds from here again. See the malls. See some movies. Just relaxation and have a nice time before going back to school.

Yet, apparently my body hates such things.

I still feel unhappy. I am restless. I get depressed mostly ever night. I don't feel like staying up, because that will just make me even more deranged. It's really disgusting and pathetic... Then again, nothing I have stated is new...

I don't know if I will feel better going back up to school. My mom just asked me, and I have decided to go back up on Thursday. Am I sad that I am leaving Omaha? I don't know... I honestly cannot say.

I just want to scream, to do something...good or bad. I don't know... I just feel so icky. I don't know why or how to explain this. I just hate myself, basically. I always have...always have, since 8th grade, I guess.

It has had it's turns. From freshman to the beginning half of junior year, I was able to manage myself. I already broke down once before, in 5th grade. I thought I could control myself. Just let everything slide. I am capable of handling situations. Just take it and don't do anything. Things would eventually be all right. Was that a sad, pathetic way of thinking? It apparently is. I was weak then....and, weak now. What else would explain me flipping out, finding out that I am gay, when every other God damn person who knew me knew I was a fucking homosexual?! Why the Hell could I not know this, something about me, before anyone else?! I am always the last to know things, and apparently my stupid sexual orientation is one of them!

Then, there was senior year in high school. That year was a joke. Pathetic... Naturally, I was never back up to par with myself. Still pathetic, still a weakling as always. I sucked with my grades. I was able to get straight 1's (A's) my first two years. What did I get that year? Half 1's, half 2's (B's)! Damn myself! The ACT didn't help anything. It just showed how much of a simpleton I am. The same with my AP American History (junior) and AP English (senior) exams. Never good enough... And then, my damn letter inccident. Fuck every horrible underclassmen who attacked me! Fuck them! So, I acted on something... My friend and I didn't know. We just thought! I am so fucking sorry?! It was a joke... Senior year sucked. I just wanted to get away from it all... Far far away...

Yet, here I am...back in Omaha. Am I wishing to go back to MN? Do I ever want to come back to NE? God, how I do not know! Heh, as usually I do not know...

Damn that promise... Just one promise... I could end it now... No more pills, no more feeling like a hopeless piece of shit, no more worrying, no more caring... How can I feel worthy of being there for others, when I'm a fucking mess? Yes, I can only care for others. Stupid thing you have to love yourself before others... I have always loved others! Does it make me feel better? It creates a mask, a persona... Where is it?! Why can I not find it and use it anymore?! Why, why, why...?

Why am I here... Why am I alive... Why am I breathing...

Sleep will cure this night, yet will it ever heal me...?
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hey gay hippy island [Aug. 12th, 2004|10:01 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies

bcroownbcooyss
it's been a while since i've floated my way over to your shores ... how has every one been?




i've been good thank you very much... it's been a whole week since i've gotten back from mexico and i think that this week will pretty much sum up how i will spend my year off school .... at ambassadors singing and dancing .. with sarah having good and in depth chats about mirrors .... and being "out" and about with my friends in general.





i have made no new revolutionary breakthroughs in the gay world .... except for the fact that it is indeed a small tiny world..... examples ....





#1 on saturday night i hung out with a cool kid names zach page ... and i was suppose to meet him a few months ago on a blind date that never actually happened ... but i guess that we just sort of met up on our own means!







#2 i was also hanging out with this other cool kid named adam ... and while we were hanging out i saw dan this guy that i had met on line came walking up ... so i yelled at him to come say hi .. and i turned out that dan and adan were ex's ....






now those are two little scenes that are going to go under my reasons why the gay world is smaller than the real world!




oh yeah and i guess that that's it!


~alex bustillos .. oh yeah ... new sn on aim ..... alexb2407
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Stupid prick is just a polite way to use... [Aug. 4th, 2004|09:32 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
dragoondefender
[mood |pissed offpissed off]
[music |"Youth of the Nation" -- P.O.D.]

I just got home from play rehearsal of The Best of Pride Players. I greeted my parents, who I have not seen since Monday. I found some mail for me. It was a letter. It was from United States Senate. I questioned why I would get this. So, I opened it up and read it. It was from Chuck Hagel. I voted online to have him vote against the Federal Marriage Amendment. The first letter was a summary, basically. The other letter was the press release of what he said. Here it is...

Read more...Collapse )

That fucker! I hate this! He is such an idiot! I hate this republican state! May God show mercy to those who encourage harmony and acceptance, while smite those who bring chaos and terror!
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To those who care: [Jul. 12th, 2004|11:24 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
dragoondefender
[mood |scaredscared]
[music |"Let There be Peace on Earth"]

I am really frightened about this amendment striking down same sex marriages. How can one define marriage as a sacred bond between a man and a woman or say gay marriages are the same as beastiality, incest, and polygamy?

All of my live, I have thought about adopting children. I myself am adopted, so that is why. Then, I considered marriage. I would want to find the right person to be with for the rest of my life. I am afraid of divorce. Once I realized that I am a homosexual, I still wanted to adopt children. And, if it so happens, get married. I still want to get married within my religion. I want to get married in a Catholic church. I want all of my family present, as well as my spouse's. I want to say "I do," hear our wedding march, go to the party afterwards, open wedding gifts, and go on our honey moon. I have always wanted that, when I thought about marriage.

But...will that all change? Will it never happen? I am so scared. Why, God...?
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Hey everyone, take the time to read this. [Jul. 12th, 2004|11:14 am]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
dragoondefender
I just got this from group Saturday, although it's three months off. It was published in April. But take a look at it, still.

Letter to President Bush from Bette Midler

Dear President Bush,

Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal stone a legal definition of marriage. I would like to know why.

In your speech, you stated that this Amendment would serve to protect marriage in America, which I must confess confuses me. Like you, I believe in the importance of marriage and I feel that we as a society take the institution far too lightly. In my circle of family, friends and acquaintances, the vast majority have married and divorced - some more than once. Still, I believe in marriage. I believe that there is something fundamental about finding another person on this planet with whom you want to build a life and family, amnd make a positive contribution to society. I believe that we need more positive role models for successful marriage in this country - something to counteract the images we get bombarded with in popular culture. When we are assaulted with images of celebrities of varying genres, be it actors, soprts figures, socialites, or even politicians who shrug marriage on amnd off like the latest fashion, it is vitally important to the face of our nation, for our children and our future, that we have a balance of commitment and fidelity with which to stave off the negativity. I search for these examples to show my own daughter, so that she can see that marriage is more than a disposable whim, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same concerns and difficulties in raising your own daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you must understand how thrilled I have ben over the past few weeks to come home and turn on the news with my family. To finally have concrete examples of true commitment, honest love, and steadfast fidelity was such a relief and a joy. Instead of speaking in the hypothetical, I was finally able to point to these men and women, standing together for hours in the pouring rain, and tell my child that this is what it's all about. Forget Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom. Forget about all the people that we know who have taken so frivolously the pure and simple beauty of love and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon â?? 51 years together! I mean, honestly Mr. President - how many couples do you know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you agree that this love story provides a wonderful opportunity to teach our children about the ture meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of San Francisco City Hall, rose petals and champagne, suits and veils, horns honking and elation in the streets: a celebration of love the likes of which this society has never seen.

This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness, my relief transformed into outrage, and my peace became anger. This morning, I watched you stand before this nation and belittle these women, the thousands who stood with them, and the countless millions who wish to follow them. How could you do that, Mr. President? How could you take something so beautiful - a clear and defining example of the true nature of commitment - and declare it to be anything less? What is it that validates your marriage which somehow doesn't apply to Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what power, what authority are you so divinely imbued that you can stand before me and this nation and hold their love to a higher standard?

Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr. President. Don't tell me that the difference lies in teh bedroom. I would never presume to ask you or your wife how it is you choose to physically express your love for one another, and I defy you to stand before Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon and ask them to do the same. It is none of my business, as it is none of yours, and it has nothing to do with the "sanctity of marriage." I'm sure you would agree that marriage is far more than sexual expression, and it's high time we all started focusing on all the others aspects of a relationship which hold it together over the course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the mechanics of sex set aside, I ask you again - what makes a marriage? I firmly believe that whatever definition you derive, there are thousands upon thousands of shining examples for you to embrace.

You want to protect marriage. I admire and support that, Mr. President. Together, as a nation, let us find and celebrate examples of what a marriage shoould be. Together, let us take couples who embody the principles of commitment, fidelity, sacrifice and love, and hold them up before our children as role models for their own futures. Together, let us reinforce the concept that love is about far more than sex, despite what popular culture would like them to believe.

Please, for the sake of our children, for the sake of our society, for the sake of our future, do not take us down this road. Under the guise of protection, do not support divisiveness. Under the guise of unity, do not endorse discrimination. Under the guise of sanctity, do not devalue commitment. Under the guise of democracy, do not encourage this amendment.

Bette Midler
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(no subject) [Jul. 12th, 2004|06:18 am]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies

rawmistyseventh
[mood |gratefulgrateful]

 

Your name: Raw Misty Seventh
Age: I can see 40 from here
Hobbies: writing, music, measuring the difference
Anything interesting you'd want to add: 2+2=42

1. Define What Hippy And Gay mean to you
Hippy fun loving people that work towards peace
Gay liking men
2. Explain how you are either Gay or a Hippy or both
How many of you have woken up in a strange bus at a Dead concert?
I like men, sometimes

3. How would you benefit our island
Dig that cool hat

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(no subject) [Jul. 11th, 2004|01:43 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies

rawmistyseventh
[mood |gratefulgrateful]

 

Your name: Raw Misty Seventh
Age: I can see 40 from here
Hobbies: writing, music, measuring the difference
Anything interesting you'd want to add: 2+2=42

1. Define What Hippy And Gay mean to you
Hippy fun loving people that work towards peace
Gay liking men
2. Explain how you are either Gay or a Hippy or both
How many of you have woken up in a strange bus at a Dead concert?
I like men, sometimes

3. How would you benefit our island
Dig that cool hat

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hahahaha [Jun. 25th, 2004|03:56 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
clarisse_havok
[mood |blahblah]
[music |Penguins and Polar bears]

she called it hand pee water! I find that funny.
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(no subject) [Jun. 22nd, 2004|06:24 pm]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies

grodybrody
Your name-MEME, oh you know, you know
Age -43
Hobbies-43
Anything interesting you'd want to add
I like you. I like Gir. I like... you and Gir, and gay boys, like John-Paul, and that Gothic one that made a hat for G-lar.

1. Define What Hippy And Gay mean to you
OH YOU KNOW!

2. Explain how you are either Gay or a Hippy or both
OH YOU KNOW!

3. How would you benefit our island
OH YOU KNOW!

4. Add a picture if you'd like ( a Word of warning this is a not a "see how sexy" i am site. Toppless or provacative pictures earn you less points)
OH YOU KNOW!

But nothing topless? None? Never?! NOT EVEN JOHN-PAUL TOPLESS?! Cause that would be hot. Sorry, "hawtt."
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Hello all! [Jun. 22nd, 2004|07:32 am]
Sarah and John-Paul's Isle of Gay Hippies
dragoondefender
[mood |contentcontent]
[music |"All You Need is Love" -- The Beatles]

Your name: Alex Walter
Age: 18
Hobbies: video games, RPGs, reading, writing, drawing, cello, comic books, dragon/wizard collector.
Anything interesting you'd want to add: I have a very interesting walk called "Alex Walk," and I can do a high pitch laugh/shrill.

1. Define What Hippy And Gay mean to you: Hippy-a person who is more spiritual with oneself and nature. He/she believes in peace and love than war. Also, a hippy gets high off of pot, opium, or some other kind of drug. Gay-1.) Happy, joyful. 2.) A broad term which covers a group of people who would not be considered heterosexual (i.e. homosexual, transexual, transgender, bisexual). Gay usually refers to a male homosexual, while lesbian is named for a female homosexual.

2. Explain how you are either Gay or a Hippy or both: Hmm... Well, I guess gay, because I am attracted to the same sex. Hippy? Well, I'd take love and peace over any day. I do like nature, and the music of the Hippy era is the best!

3. How would you benefit our island: I would help those who need to talk/vent and be comforted. Also, I can play my cello, filling the island with lovely music for everyone!

4. Add a picture if you'd like: Ah, heh-heh... I really am not too computer/internet literate...so, I have no idea how to add a picture, sorry folks.
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